I Don't Like Cannonballs
by Kelsers
Summary: Bella's without her hubby for the night again and get's lonely. She find an old video that she never knew existed. Do the innocent truly understand love more than we know? Edward will protect her from the cannonballs. Entry to Epic T Rated Oneshot Contest
1. Chapter 1

**Hey this is my entry to DLC's and Bronzehairgirl's contest. Their stories are AMAZING, by the way. Just saying. **

**This is for everyone who got married in grade school. I was always the minister. **

**Summary: Bella's without her hubby for the night again and get's lonely. She find an old video that she never knew existed. Do the innocent truly understand love more than we know? Edward will protect her from the cannonballs. Entry to Epic T Rated Oneshot Contest**

**The Epic T Rated One-Shot Contest  
**Hosted by Daddy's Little Cannibal and Bronzehairedgirl620.

The rules are as followed:  
1. No lemons.  
2. It must be rated T.  
3. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a cannibal.  
4. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a fireman.  
1. No lemons.  
5. Cannon pairings.  
6. It has to be a **one-shot**, you're allowed to continue it when the contest is over with.  
7. Must copy and paste this to the beginning of every story you enter (you're allowed up to two entries, collaborations are accepted).  
1. **No lemons.**

* * *

Edward was out working late tonight. Again. For the fourth time this week.

Of course I was proud of him, racing around the streets like superman in his ambulance and adorable medic jumpsuit, but every girl gets lonely. And I was missing my hubby right now. I curled up on the couch in a holey blanket with the traditionally cliché pint of Phish Food in my hands. I think I may be getting frostbite in my fingers from my tight grip. Oh well, my husbands' a paramedic.

I couldn't find any movies worth watching on our fancy DVR cable box that Edward insisted we buy, so I reluctantly rolled out of my comfortable cocoon to see what was in our lil' ol' movie cabinet.

The Little Mermaid? No, Alice's baby girl has made me resent Ariel and all of her friends under the sea after the fifty-second time watching it.

Remember the Titans? I'll save that for Edward and his brotherly bonding when Emmett comes over again claiming he "needs a break from makeup dust." And then they crack open the bromance story of all time.

Latter 49? God, no. I never bawled so much in my life. Good thing Edward was there to comfort me from the fireman's life struggles.

Speaking of the sneaky Edward, what is this video tape and why is it labeled "Little Bella and Edward?"

I pulled a tape with a three-inch coat of dust out of the dredges of the movie piles. It looked like it had never been watched. The shiny black tape inside the case was perfectly wound and ready to go. The VCR hasn't been used in a while and I feel guilty for neglecting it. A new video should make it up to it.

The screen was black for a second before the sound was turned on by whoever was recording, and then only soft breathing was heard in the background. The flashing date in the corner of the TV screen showed 4/27/1986. I hadn't even started first grade when this was filmed.

A glowing white box suddenly appeared and I could hear fuzzy voices screeching from it. It took me a minute to realize that Winnie the Pooh was playing when I heard a familiar voice ask for some honey. Pooh used to be my favorite yellow-colored bear when I was younger. Edward and I always watched it together when I spent the night at his and Emmett's house when known sleepovers with boys were still okay.

The said boy's hair was suddenly visible when whoever was capturing this little moment in our life had peeked the camera lens over the top of a stained sofa. Little Edward's hair was more crazy than it was now, sticking up in every possible direction from all the rolling and running and fighting and tickling wars that little boys triumphed in everyday. The back of our little heads were facing the camera as mine lied on his little shoulder. Little Bella's hair was curlier than it is now and got tangled together when Little Me moved her head to look at Little Edward.

The high-pitched voice squeaked from Little Me over the crackling of the ancient TV on video, "Hey Eddie?"

"Yeah Bella?" his voice was not much higher than my own at that time. It made me giggle to compare it to his deep, masculine tone now.

"Does Pooh mean poop?" Little Me asked quite bluntly, making me giggle again. I could feel a goofy smile already stretched across my face. Go me for finding the perfect solution to an Edwardless night.

Little Edward was quiet on the screen for a minute. I flopped back down in my first position, the forgotten ice cream at my feet and the blanket now chilly against my once-warm skin. But Edward succeeded in distracting me from discomfort like usual.

"Where'd ya hear that?" he asked with an adorable hesitancy in his voice.

"Em told me when I asked him if he wanna watch Pooh with us." Little Me's head was still on Little Edward's shoulder, but he was now looking down at me, the show going completely unnoticed.

"Em told you that?" he asked. Even at age six, I could hear the higher pitch his voice took when he got flustered and annoyed.

"Uh huh," my little head nodded and rubbed against his shirt, "He said the show peoples named him after poop because babies like us don't know it and they thinks it's like a joke. Then I kicked him for calling me baby."

Little Edward giggled when I said I kicked Emmett, making both me and Little Me laugh with him.

"No Bella. Winnie is his name and Pooh is his other name. Like Swan and Cullen. See?" Little Edward tried to explain. Somehow his knowledge made sense to Little Me, because she just nodded again and fell silent.

The only light on the screen was coming from the wheezing 80s TV. Just enough light to illuminate the small boy and girl resting in each other's company. Seriously, where has this video been my whole life?

Just as I was about the text Edward to scold him on keeping such adorableness from me, my little voice decided to speak again.

"Hey Eddie?"

"Yeah Bella?"

"Cannonballs scare me," Little Me answered in a tiny voice.

Where the heck did that come from?

"Huh?" Little Edward smartly replied.

"I said I don't like cannonballs," Little Me repeated impatiently, expecting Little Edward to know what I was talking about. I sure didn't know.

"Uh, why Bella?"

"Because they eat people."

A loud laugh bubbled from my throat. Was I trying to say _cannibal_?

Little Edward's head turned further down to look at Little Me. He had no clue what she was talking about.

"Cannonballs don't eat people Bella. They fly out of cannons. Like in the movies," he tried to tell her, because Little Edward knows everything, of course.

Little Me erupted into an adorable fit of squealing giggles. "Nooo Eddie! I mean the peoples who eat other peoples!" she shrieked in her bell-like voice.

Eddie didn't laugh along with her like I did. "Did Em tell you 'bout cannonballs too, Bella?" he asked in a completely non-threatening voice. But Little Me got the point and hushed her merriment.

"Yes."

Eddie sighed and a little pudgy hand reached up to his face. _Was he pinching the bridge of his nose?_ I just fell more in love with him, and into another attack of laughter. But, Little Me seemed to regret telling Eddie about cannonballs and stayed silent.

"Bella, cannonballs are just stories that Em tells to scare you. He wanna scare you 'cause he thinks it's funny," Eddie said in his high, annoyed voice.

"It's 'kay Eddie. I wasn't scared. 'Cause I said Eddie will keep me safe."

Tears crept up into the corner of my eyes and my breath stopped in my throat. We were so young and so innocent. Did we already know that we would eventually be together? That we would be together forever? My chest suddenly ached for Edward, life-size.

Eddie's squeaky voice started to come from the speakers, but the deep, warm voice murmuring gently from behind me had me gasping in surprise and ecstasy.

"Of course, Bella. I always protect my Bella."

I jumped and twirled from my seat and stood on the cushions below me, looking straight into the melting green eyes of my Edward. His hair really was as insane as Eddie's still was on the TV screen behind us, and my hands dove into it on their own accord. Edward's strong arms circled my waist and pulled me closer to the edge of the couch. We were chest to chest. I could feel his heart beating wildly with my own.

He stared deep into my eyes and I could feel it down in my toes. A small, lazy smile crawled up onto his face and turned it into the crooked smile that he saved for me. My lips pecked it a couple times, just to show him how much I appreciated that smile.

"I thought you were working tonight," I whispered, for it felt like anything louder would disrupt the fairy dust that surrounded us.

"I was, until your butt called me," he chuckled noiselessly.

What did he say?

"My butt called you?" I asked stupidly.

"I was sitting in the parking lot in my truck waiting for a call, when your name flashed on my phone instead of the hospital. When I answered, I could only hear breathing in the background, and it scared the shit out of me."

I blushed and pecked him once more on the lips in apology. He returned the kiss with a little more passion before finishing his story.

"It was a slower night so the boys let me off easily when I said I had to check on you. I kept yelling your name into the phone. You really didn't hear me?" he laughed again with more giddiness, like what was dancing down my spine.

I could feel my blush resurface, and he kissed it lovingly for a moment, which of course made me more flushed.

"I finally calmed when I heard you laughing in the background and realized you must have called me by accident."

I wonder what he was thinking when he heard me laugh. Knowing his over-zealous and easily jealous mind, it could have been anything.

"When I walked in," he continued in a thick whisper, "I never imagined you to be watching this video."

Could the tone in his voice match what I was feeling: the consuming feeling of elementary love, when we chased each other on the playground and threw worms at our husbands and wives of the jungle gyms?

"I have adored you since I met you. And I will forever more," he murmured against my lips.

His arms constricted tighter around me, pulling me off the back of the couch and off the ground. His lids closed over his bottom-less eyes right before his mouth connected with mine. I felt his heart beating on the other side of my chest, where it belonged.

"Hey Eddie?" I whispered when his kisses moved to worship my cheeks and nose and closed eyes.

"Yeah Bella?" he replied in a hushed voice.

"I love you."

* * *

**As fluffy as cotton candy :) I love it. **

**Please review? **

**And listen to Falling Slowly by The Frames. Perfect.**

**NewResolution**

**-Kelsey**


	2. Third Place!

Wow. All I can really say is thank you! For everyone who read this and voted. Or even if you didn't vote, just thank you all! **I Don't Like Cannonballs took third place in The Epic T Rated Oneshot Contest! **

_One Of the Guys _by_ twilightluver001_ took first place. And _Masen and Swan: The FBI's Most Unwanted _by _Gleena & edward-bella-harry-ginny_ took second place. Both very great oneshots, I suggest you try them out :)

Thank you again. And I hope you all have checked out my new story **If Only I Could Be Running Up That Hill**. It is very unlike this oneshot, a lot more dark and twisted like _Dead Hearts _or_ Winter Song_. Go check it out.

Love you all :) Thanks again for the third place. I am extremely excited!

Make your NewResolution.

-Kelsey


End file.
